Sleeping beauty Bitcoin wallets wake up after 14 years to the tune of $2B

I really wonder if Satoshi’s fortune is gone forever. Maybe the CIA found his real identity and uncovered his keys. Dumping that much BTC on the market would crash the market and probably even tank other financial markets.

Why would the cia want to crash the market?

My theory was always that Satoshi burned the coins from the beginning. There never was any fortune.

did the rumor that Satoshi was Paul Leroux go anywhere? since he is now in the hands of the intelligence services for a while this could be a good explanation for Satoshi not being able to access its coins.

the CIA actively relies on many means, including BTC, to organize their activities.

Satoshi disappeared right after Gavin announced that he was going to give a talk about bitcoin at CIA, just one of the many conspiracy theories

I see it as the ultimate honeypot. If those coins haven’t moved yet the network is secure.

He may have burned the keys, not the coins. The process of burning the coins is by sending them to an address such as: 1111111111111111111114oLvT2

Why would they throw a dozen South American coups, import tonnes of crack to the inner cities, conduct illegal human experimentation or attempt the assassination of multiple democratically elected world leaders?

Honestly no idea, they seem a little fash-y for any logical reasoning that i can comprehend.

Maybe they had another insurgency to fund and didn't want it going through the vast ^official^ books?

I think you mean canary. Honeypots are decoys by definition