A list is a monad

A list is not a monad. A list is a data structure; a monad is more like a "trait" or "interface." So you can define a List type that "implements" the monad interface, but this is not an inherent property of lists themselves. That's the sense in which a list "is a" monad: the OOP sense.

Haskell's List monad provides a model for nondeterminism. But that certainly isn't the only way List could satisfy the monad interface! It was a deliberate choice -- a good choice, possibly the best choice, but a choice nonetheless.