How to leave the house

Excellent post, I enjoyed it quite a lot. I often tell people that if they want to meet new people, get a dog. If you want to meet girls, get a puppy. When I was in college I would see other guys my age (early 20s at the time) walking a new puppy around campus and they became magnets for girls.

Plus, humans were MEANT to have dogs, and dogs were meant to have humans. We grew up together; dogs are one of our first forays into genetic engineering. We created an animal which was perfectly acclimated to human companionship

> If you want to meet girls, get a puppy.

Since puppies turn into full grown dogs quite quickly, how often do you suggest I replace the puppy?

> We created an animal which was perfectly acclimated to human companionship

This is why I think having a cat is so much more satisfying. A dog loves you unconditionally, not by choice but because it was literally bred to do so. Despite this you still have to keep it on a leash. Cats by contrast stay with you because they want to, despite having every opportunity to move in with someone else.

I hate to say it, but pet cats kill an estimated ~390 million animals annually (in Australia). They should also be on a leash and not allowed to roam freely.