I like that your post deliberately gets to the point first and then (optionally) expands later, I think it's a good and generally underutilized format. I often advise people to structure their emails in the same way, e.g. first just cutting to the chase with the specific ask, then giving more context optionally below.
It's not my intention to bloat information or delivery but I also don't super know how to follow this format especially in this kind of talk. Because it's not so much about relaying specific information (like your final script here), but more as a collection of prompts back to the audience as things to think about.
My companion tweet to this video on X had a brief TLDR/Summary included where I tried, but I didn't super think it was very reflective of the talk, it was more about topics covered.
Anyway, I am overall a big fan of doing more compute at the "creation time" to compress other people's time during "consumption time" and I think it's the respectful and kind thing to do.