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The Offline Club

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180 points esher | 1 comments | 25 Jun 25 19:42 UTC | HN request time: 0.22s | source
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tonymet ◴[25 Jun 25 21:37 UTC] No.44382041[source]▶

  There was a dream that was having a social life. You could only whisper it. Anything more than a whisper and it would vanish, it was so fragile.

  -- Marcus Aurelius
Relationships and things that matter are spontaneous. When you try to optimize them into calendars, checklists & databases -- they become lame and fall apart.

It's half the reason people aren't social. They try so hard to "schedule a meetup" and the meetup becomes work so people stop hanging out.

You're just supposed to show up at someone's house and do shit.

You don't make friends by agenda. You have cool experiences , build trust and develop a bond.

replies(6): >>44382142 #>>44382318 #>>44382630 #>>44382721 #>>44382780 #>>44382856 #
1. kzisme ◴[25 Jun 25 23:21 UTC] No.44382721[source]▶
While I generally agree with this sentiment - it's pretty hard to maintain friendships and relationships where both parties don't talk because they're both waiting to be spontaneous.

I don't "book/plan" things with friends, but it makes a massive difference to consistently reach out and nurture friendships.

The way you're describing meeting people seems fun, but half the time folks are busy with life or other stuff to be spontaneous.

I work from home, live far away from family, and sometimes the only social interaction I get each day is getting marketing text messages from HelloFresh. I then can take the time to go speak to my local barista for ~30 seconds and buy a drink.