Sorry for your loss. I too virtually stopped using Discord in favor of, mostly, Reddit (lesser of two evils).
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I use an adblock, so I don't see any ads on Reddit.
> I can't think of any way to look at this where Reddit is the lesser evil.
Reddit is the lesser evil for my personal use case because more and more Discord servers require a verified phone number to send messages. I can't get help if I can't send a message.
Even if it was, "Requires a verified phone number" is not "Evil". You might not like it, it might be incomprehensible, it might be exclusionary, but it's not "Evil".