- Advances in rocket engine design & tech to enable deep throttling
- Control algorithms for propulsive landing maturing (Google "Lars Blackmore", "GFOLD", "Mars Landing", and work through the references)
- Forward thinking and risk-taking by SpaceX to further develop tech demonstrated by earlier efforts (DC-X, Mars Landing, etc.)
Modern simulation and sensor capabilities helped, but were not the major enabling factors.
Maybe disposable rocket designs lost the hat and got too overengineered and expensive? Saturn V costs seem absurd to me when the USSR was also making similar rockets presumably far cheaper. Maybe the US defense spending model is just a poor one for getting a lean product developed compared to nations and groups that absolutely must be lean to achieve anything at all.