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35 points mooreds | 1 comments | | HN request time: 0.209s | source
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Elaris ◴[] No.44021465[source]
I really resonate with this. Since having a child, most of my time revolves around them. There’s no time for myself, no time for friends. The friends I used to be close with have slowly drifted away. I’ve been living like this for three years now, and while watching my child grow up fills me with happiness, there are moments when I feel lost. It’s like I’ve lost a bit of myself along the way. I wonder if anyone else has felt this way, and how they’ve managed to find balance between being a parent and staying connected to who they were before.
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pmarreck ◴[] No.44021652[source]
My kid is almost 4 and I'm 100% there.

I used to spend hours messing with code, gaming, interacting on forums, and keeping up with tech developments. Biking for miles! Sailing! Beaching! Exploring new music and always just learning. And actually sleeping in!

Now I feel like it is a huge struggle to do ANY of that... and I am still in mourning. STILL, almost 4 years later. My son also stopped sleeping through the night at 3 and he is almost 4 and it is STILL ONGOING. My partner and I have had to move into separate rooms in the house because I already have impacted sleep (CPAP) and I simply cannot function if he is waking me up every night. I already lost a job partly due to this :/

It didn't help that I had my first kid at 49, long after surprisingly firm habits were established that I feel like I am still "recovering from"

Someone gave me a piece of advice- "it goes easier if you just stop fighting it and accept it" and I'm still not 100% onboard with that LOL.

The only reason why I can even post here is because she took my son to his grandparents for the weekend, but she's coming back in 20 minutes and then we will be spending another "Family Day" at some event...

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1. BLKNSLVR ◴[] No.44021793[source]
Similar to the piece of advice you were given, this is one that I use, because I'm a pessimistic optimist:

Don't worry, it's only for the rest of your life.

Get square with that as your number one priority. All the things you like doing, treat them as blessings every time you get to do them. Don't expect it, be surprised by it.

Everything else flows from there. Your kids are your most important job.