←back to thread

48 points octo888 | 1 comments | | HN request time: 0.218s | source

Hey everyone, I could really use some advice.

I’ll likely be out of a job soon — whether I’m fired or I quit first. Health issues, silent breakdowns, being on the spectrum, poor social skills have caused me to damage my work relationships beyond repair.

So, I'm planning my next steps.

Some context:

- I’m 40.

- I struggle with networking, so I have no professional connections.

- My savings can last about two year, and a part-time job could stretch that.

- I haven’t interviewed in years and get extremely anxious in interviews.

- I'm a tech generalist

- I'm quite disillusioned with tech + corporate world, and a bit burnt out. This AI hype, Agile, having to fake excitement about the latest shiny new thing, KPIs etc.

People say I'm pretty good with 2 non-tech things. There are some relatively easy (but not free) qualifications/courses I could do in those areas (I don't want to dox myself here with specifics). I'm open to being self employed.

I also would like to use this time to focus on my health (I have things I need to escalate with my doctor and I need to work on my body), see more of my family, and work on my mental health. I'd also be interested in using my skills for something other than making a rich person richer - something local, for a charity perhaps.

...or am I dreaming and this an indulgence I can't afford?

If you have advice, ideas, personal experiences, etc, I’d really appreciate it.

1. w10-1 ◴[] No.44010052[source]
First, I wouldn't give up on the work relationships. Even if you damaged them, it's good practice and good karma to try to make amends; people really appreciate others reforming, and they will take you seriously as a person if you do. And even if they balk, you tried, and you can leave with clean hands and new life lessons. But most of all, the regularity of work and home is a good basis for making other life changes. Unemployment changes economic and social and perhaps home context, making it mostly a time to hold things constant to balance the equation; any change is more forced than elected. Better to hold employment but start changing what you want.

Ok, not to duck the hypothetical, assuming you do leave (and to add to the other good advice here)...

We tend to focus on the things we can control, and things we understand; we stay in a context. A job change is a chance not to be stuck in that mode.

The biggest difference in work latitude is the overall need and value flow. It's just easier to be on a big river than a tiny stream, modulo competition. So consider the world in terms on value-flow and competition. E.g., tech value flows can be large but volatile, and competition includes outsourcing and automation on top of new grads. In-person health care services require long credentialing but then are protected by those credentials and the difficulty of automation; but because it's in-person, the value is hard to scale unless you're a rainmaker (i.e., a doctor). And so on.

A job change is also a chance to reset your life. Yes, try exercise and address some other self- and social-debt, but don't load yourself with obligations. The key thing is values, how you feel, and your liveliness relative to life. It'd be a good sign when there's a nice view, and you really feel it, without distraction from your psycho-social-economic context. When you discover your values, you pretty naturally start working on them and work isn't hard.