I assure you the problem here is not “AI” The problem is that the world has changed and some of your prior assumptions are no longer valid (full remote is very challenging right now, property is the path to generational wealth with notable exceptions which you are experiencing, weird names are cool and hip among cool and hip people but that might not be who you find yourself among). You’ve painted yourself into a corner, change some self-imposed boundaries and the corner goes away.
I can’t help but wonder if there’s a word for doing something repeatedly and being baffled at a negative response when the problem is so blindingly obvious to an outsider.
Maybe the word is just stuck. Many of the self-imposed problems seem intractable, but are not.
Maybe a step back is in order. What has been tried is obviously not working. There are ~10 items in play and solving for all ~10 is impossible. Stack rank the items desired and start checking them off?
I suppose I’d start by getting a job come hell or high water. go by a reasonable sounding name (reserve legal name for paperwork) 50% of initial screening is rejecting the name (your hell with onboarding proved that nobody’s name parsing gets it without help, in job interviews you get dropped silently). There is zero overlap between hip companies who appreciate a cool name and php.
Focus resume detail on current languages and frameworks (see above re php)
Start applying for in-person in palatable places. Land and negotiate enough remote to stay sane.
Sell cabin (need cash, and it’s not cashflow positive) You didn’t mention where your mom is living but you have equity somewhere. Cash it out to move forward with the free capital.
Finish remodel or sell (needs cash to be cash flow positive)
You haven’t been displaced you’ve experienced a change of the state of the world and you’ve failed to adapt…
I’m going to leave the next line as an exercise for the reader. A hint though: adaptation is necessary for survival.