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Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows

(www.seattletimes.com)
118 points blondie9x | 7 comments | 13 Apr 25 14:36 UTC | HN request time: 0.908s | source | bottom
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jandrewrogers ◴[13 Apr 25 15:15 UTC] No.43673380[source]▶
Anecdotally, among the people I know in Seattle, many people who have happily been in the same relationship for decades are not married. People are not avoiding long-term relationships, they are avoiding the baggage and fairly rigid assumptions that comes with state intervention in their relationships. There is zero social pressure to be “officially” married so people have no reason to do it for the sake of social conformity. Both men and women are subscribing to this.

I think some of this is a side-effect of many people planning to never have children.

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willidiots ◴[13 Apr 25 15:41 UTC] No.43673584[source]▶
One thing to be mindful of is that this limits your ability to help your partner as you age. State intervention can play both ways.
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jb1991 ◴[13 Apr 25 15:43 UTC] No.43673605[source]▶
That’s unfortunate. And it’s a uniquely American mindset. Long-term relationships in Europe for example do not require marriage in the same way that Americans do. People get married in the states because of the law, people get married in other countries because they just want to get married for emotional or spiritual reasons.
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1. Aurornis ◴[13 Apr 25 16:06 UTC] No.43673795[source]▶
I cannot think of anyone here in the United States who got married for legal benefits, other than some couples working on citizenship issues for one partner without citizenship.

I think your Americans-vs-Europeans argument is greatly exaggerated if not outright false.

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2. scarface_74 ◴[13 Apr 25 16:10 UTC] No.43673833[source]▶
Raises hand.

I got engaged to my wife with the expectation of us getting married 6 months later. We pulled our marriage forward 6 months because I got laid off from my job and needed to get on her insurance. I had a contract literally the next week after getting laid off and could have paid for COBRA out of pocket. But it was her idea to go to the courthouse

3. jb1991 ◴[13 Apr 25 17:49 UTC] No.43674524[source]▶
Married filing jointly, tax benefits. My sibling did it.

Also, health insurance. Another thing Americans have yet to learn from Europe. In the states, sometimes you have to get married just to get health insurance. It’s kind of ridiculous.

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4. jb1991 ◴[13 Apr 25 17:55 UTC] No.43674557[source]▶
I just did a search of all the different legal benefits, and financial benefits, you get in the United States if you’re married. It’s quite a vast list.
5. jandrewrogers ◴[13 Apr 25 18:02 UTC] No.43674606[source]▶
FWIW, it has become increasingly common in the US (or at least the parts I’ve lived in) to allow adding an informal domestic partner to your health insurance, no marriage required. IIRC, there is a tax quirk if you do it but I haven’t done it in many years.
6. techjamie ◴[13 Apr 25 22:13 UTC] No.43676246[source]▶
My employer is of course just one and not representative of every company. But my work/indurance is happy to accept long term domestic partner in lieu of marriage. As long as you swear to be in a long term committed relationship and live together, it's fine.
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7. jb1991 ◴[14 Apr 25 06:59 UTC] No.43678748{3}[source]▶
That opens up an entirely different discussion, which is why should health insurance be tied to a job? This is also uniquely American. Is your home insurance tied to your job? Is your car insurance tied to your job? Is your life insurance? Doesn’t make sense that your health insurance should be. What happens if you get laid off or you decide you don’t want to work for this company any more or you want to take another opportunity? Now your health insurance or your health insurance costs might both change. And you might have to go through the same hoops again to get a domestic partner installed, etc.