The best programmers I know

I developed a lot of my problem solving skills in semiconductor manufacturing where the cost of a bad assumption tends to be astronomical. You need to be able to determine exactly what the root cause is 100% of the time or everything goes to hell really fast. If there isn't a way to figure out the root cause, you now have 2 tickets to resolve.

I'll throw an entire contraption away the moment I determine it has accumulated some opacity that antagonizes root cause analysis. This is why I aggressively avoid use of non-vanilla technology stacks. You can certainly chase the rabbit over the fence into the 3rd party's GitHub repo, but I find the experience gets quite psychedelic as you transition between wildly varying project styles, motivations and scopes.

Being deeply correct nearly all of the time is probably the fastest way to build a reputation. The curve can be exponential over time with the range being the value of the problem you are entrusted with.

But, most frameworks and libraries aren't built to be audit-grade robust, don't have enterprise level compatibility promises, can't guarantee that there won't be suprise performance impacts for arbitrary use cases, etc.

Sometimes, a third party library (like sql-lite) makes the cut. But frameworks and libraries that reach the bar of "this will give me fewer complications than avoiding the dependency" are few and far between.

The guy like you on a mission critical team at a cutting edge company is a godsend and will be a big part of why the project/company succeeds. The guy who wants to build his own ORM for his no-name company's CRUD app is wasting everyone's time.

I once unfortunately joined a project where an off-the-shelf ORM had been selected, but when development was well into the deep edge cases started to reveal serious design flaws in the ORM library. A guy wanting (perhaps not a in a joyful sense, but more not seeing any other choice) to build his own ORM that was mostly API-compatible was what saved the project.

This was a long time ago. The state of ORM libraries is probably a lot better today. But the advice of ensuring that a library is SQLite-grade before committing to it does rings true even for simple CRUD ORMs. Perhaps especially so.

There are a large number of fundamental impedance mismatches between relational data and object based data. Any ORM can fix some of them at the cost of ignoring others, but the fundamental character of ORMs is such that taking an opinionated line on tough tradeoffs is as good as you can hope for.

This is why ORM guy is wasting everyone's time - his problem is almost definitely not going to have a unique or even valuable perspective on all of those tradeoffs.

Should your application map objects and relations at all isn't usually a question you get to ask unless it is doesn't do much or lives on its own private island. Should you do it yourself or lean on a toolkit to help is the question that you have to contend with.