The diagnosis: keratoconus (thinning and ultimately misshapen cornea). The prescription: highly-corrected rigid scleral contact lenses. The result: radical. I would describe my uncorrected vision as 480p, glasses as 1080p, and scleral contacts as 4k.
The scleral prescription makes my medium and far vision great while further limiting my ability to focus closely. I experimented with "monovision" to have one near-focused eye and one far-focused eye with my brain sorting out the difference, but I could tell that it resulted in lower resolution. I optimize by sticking with the medium-far prescription and wearing 1.5x reading glasses for anything within a few feet. It works great.
If you're in a similar boat, I can't recommend it enough to get checked for keratoconus. To get that you'll want to find a place that can do a corneal tomographic scan with a device like a Pentacam. Oh, and try to not rub your eyes and tell your kids the same because it's believed to be a major cause. I used to do it for fun as a kid to make colors while I was bored.