About control - serious question: how is this different from for example Rust, Go, Zig or Python? For each of those you can submit a change proposal through an official process and you can submit code changes through a pull request.
But also for each of those there is a non-zero chance that a smaller group of people who do governance of the project, the core team or leads or module owners, will either tell you that your proposal or code change is not appropriate or compatible with the project's goals or they will help you to merge it. That is exactly the same for Swift.
Why is Apple suddenly a dictator while every other project also has an agenda and strict rules that are being enforced?
Is the expectation to just be able to do whatever you want in a project like Swift?
I believe op means Swift is different because Apple is the gatekeeper at the top of the Swift project https://www.swift.org/community/#project-lead
By contrast, other open languages usually have elected leadership and aren’t directly subject to a specific corporation.