I think you're confusing "OOP is used in projects and I've seen accidental complexity in projects" with "OOP generates accidental complexity".
The truth of the matter is that developers create complexity. It just so happens that the vast majority use OOP.
I challenge you to a) start by stating what you think OOP is, b) present any approach that does not use OOP and does not end up with the same problems, if not worse.
b) The best style is no style, or at least pick a more recently popular dogma like FP, at least it gets you easy/safe parallelism in exchange for throwing some of the tools out of your toolbox.
You could say that I just did not do it right, but that is the problem. You need to know precisely what the future will want to do it right and that is never possible to know in advance. OOP encapsulation is heavily overrated. There are a ton of headaches in C++ that do not exist in C because C does not try to do these things. Ever hear of the diamond problem? It does not exist in C. Nonsensical types that span multiple lines when trying to figure out why there is a type error? Not an issue in C either.
C++ was advertised as reducing complexity, but in reality, it that encourages developers to drown themselves in complexity. If it were not for C never gaining a widespread STL equivalent, C++ would be far less popular. Sun Microsystems did make libuutil to provide such facilities, but sadly, it never caught on outside of Sun Microsystems technologies. The BSD sys/queue.h is the closest we have to it, but it is only for lists, and we need trees too to get a good equivalent to the C++ STL. That said, libuutil is available through ZFS, so it is not that people cannot adopt its awesome AVL tree implementation on other platforms. It is just that people do not know about it.
People use the wrong tool for the job, or use it incorrectly, and then blame the tool. It's like using a hammer to play drums, obliterating the drum set, then ranting against hammers.
> You could say that I just did not do it right, but that is the problem. You need to know precisely what the future will want to do it right and that is never possible to know in advance.
Every time inheritance causes a headache, you can call it a misuse of inheritance, but that is only obvious after you have been to the future.