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175 points PaulHoule | 1 comments | | HN request time: 0.198s | source
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dijit ◴[] No.42159330[source]
I always found it really frustrating that a "zero tolerance" policy to bullying seemed to disproportionately affect people who eventually fight back.

I would guess it's a combination of "nobody sees the first hit" (since your attention is elsewhere, of course) and that bullies get quite good at testing boundaries and thus know how to avoid detection.

But, really, it's truly frustrating that as I child I was bullied relentlessly, and when I finally took my parents advice and stood my ground, I was expelled from school (due to zero tolerance). Those bullies continued to torment some other kids, of course.

This is far from an uncommon situation, over the years I've heard many more scenarios like this.

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Loughla ◴[] No.42159404[source]
I was also expelled for fighting back. This was how I learned that documentation is important in life.

When I got the paperwork saying I was out, my parents sent back all the correspondence with the school, the dates the bully bothered me, and the responses (or lack thereof) from the school. I was reinstated and the bully went to another district.

Bullying in my day was at least bearable because it was confined to times when I was physically near the bully. Kids today have it so much worse with social media. It's genuinely terrifying. I don't wonder why many teens are anxious. Everything they do is documented.

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amatecha ◴[] No.42160726[source]
Yeah, I got suspended once or twice for fighting back. Somehow it's my fault I can fight better than the trashbags that pushed me around. Eff around and find out, idiots. My school experience involved at least one experience of unwarranted punishment per year, almost like clockwork. By high school my resentment for the school system was just maximum-tier and my apathy was too. Failed 5/8 classes in grade 11.
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1. Loughla ◴[] No.42163968[source]
See, I took a different path. While I wasn't a great student in high school, it was for different reasons (it rhymes with drugs and I'm not good at rhymes).

In college I decided to fix what I could. I went into higher education administration and consulting to specifically fix the policies in primary and secondary education and administration training programs. I work to stop this bullshit by making sure teachers and admin have the skills and knowledge they need to actually stop it. I can't impact a huge area, but the schools I work with are models for their response to student needs, mental health resources, and bullying prevention. Therefore, the k-12 schools around me, where the colleges and universities I work with place their teachers and admin are exemplary.

I'm not a believer that serious adversity breeds excellence, but sometimes bad experiences can be used for good