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175 points PaulHoule | 1 comments | | HN request time: 0.21s | source
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dijit ◴[] No.42159330[source]
I always found it really frustrating that a "zero tolerance" policy to bullying seemed to disproportionately affect people who eventually fight back.

I would guess it's a combination of "nobody sees the first hit" (since your attention is elsewhere, of course) and that bullies get quite good at testing boundaries and thus know how to avoid detection.

But, really, it's truly frustrating that as I child I was bullied relentlessly, and when I finally took my parents advice and stood my ground, I was expelled from school (due to zero tolerance). Those bullies continued to torment some other kids, of course.

This is far from an uncommon situation, over the years I've heard many more scenarios like this.

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Loughla ◴[] No.42159404[source]
I was also expelled for fighting back. This was how I learned that documentation is important in life.

When I got the paperwork saying I was out, my parents sent back all the correspondence with the school, the dates the bully bothered me, and the responses (or lack thereof) from the school. I was reinstated and the bully went to another district.

Bullying in my day was at least bearable because it was confined to times when I was physically near the bully. Kids today have it so much worse with social media. It's genuinely terrifying. I don't wonder why many teens are anxious. Everything they do is documented.

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thaumasiotes ◴[] No.42159832[source]
> Bullying in my day was at least bearable because it was confined to times when I was physically near the bully. Kids today have it so much worse with social media.

I don't get it. Anything a bully can do to you over social media, they can also do to you without using the internet at all. Anything they needed to be near you to do, they still need to be near you to do.

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stevage ◴[] No.42161927[source]
> Anything a bully can do to you over social media, they can also do to you without using the internet at all.

Instantly spread a rumour to dozens or hundreds of kids?

Taunting you even when you're at home?

etc etc

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1. delusional ◴[] No.42162571[source]
> Taunting you even when you're at home?

This might be a European take, but we used to actually visit each other. When I was a kid, you'd only rarely hang out at home. You'd mostly be out with the other kids at a playground, someone's house, or downtown.

Keeping people out of those "shared but private" spaces was part of the bullying. In that sense, a shared Facebook groupchat isn't any different.