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175 points PaulHoule | 2 comments | | HN request time: 0.543s | source
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dijit ◴[] No.42159330[source]
I always found it really frustrating that a "zero tolerance" policy to bullying seemed to disproportionately affect people who eventually fight back.

I would guess it's a combination of "nobody sees the first hit" (since your attention is elsewhere, of course) and that bullies get quite good at testing boundaries and thus know how to avoid detection.

But, really, it's truly frustrating that as I child I was bullied relentlessly, and when I finally took my parents advice and stood my ground, I was expelled from school (due to zero tolerance). Those bullies continued to torment some other kids, of course.

This is far from an uncommon situation, over the years I've heard many more scenarios like this.

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Puts ◴[] No.42159765[source]
Unpopular opinion, but most people who get bullied are a little "off", a little weird in some way that affects their likability. And this also affects the adults where even they judge the kid being bullied harder. For example if you are autistic and lack verbal skills, that's going to be seen as you lacking social skills. And obviously if someone got hit, who's most probable to have started it? Maybe the kid that "lacks social skills".
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1. justinclift ◴[] No.42161137[source]
> most people who get bullied are a little "off"

Because being either too tall or too short means a person should get fucked up every day, because they deserve clearly it. (/s)

Is that what you're saying?

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2. TeaBrain ◴[] No.42161491[source]
I think they were meaning more along the lines of behavioral or mental issues, since they mentioned autism. In my schooling I never saw anyone get put down because of physical disorders or differences, but it was much more common for people to get bullied when they were trying to fit into cliques that their background or behavior didn't blend well with. The kind of bullying I witnessed was like a form of signaling telling the bullied that as much as they tried, they wouldn't fit in with an in-group.