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175 points PaulHoule | 1 comments | | HN request time: 0s | source
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dijit ◴[] No.42159330[source]
I always found it really frustrating that a "zero tolerance" policy to bullying seemed to disproportionately affect people who eventually fight back.

I would guess it's a combination of "nobody sees the first hit" (since your attention is elsewhere, of course) and that bullies get quite good at testing boundaries and thus know how to avoid detection.

But, really, it's truly frustrating that as I child I was bullied relentlessly, and when I finally took my parents advice and stood my ground, I was expelled from school (due to zero tolerance). Those bullies continued to torment some other kids, of course.

This is far from an uncommon situation, over the years I've heard many more scenarios like this.

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blackeyeblitzar[dead post] ◴[] No.42159744[source]
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1. rlpb ◴[] No.42160521[source]
The flaw is that the bully can pick their moment and thus avoid being observed. The victim doesn’t get to choose the moment and means by which they have to defend themselves. And the school will enforce zero tolerance only against what their staff witnessed, not the original bullying that is (from their perspective) only alleged.

The key rule about fighting back that is never taught is: don’t get caught.