> Why should websites even be trusted with implementing these banners in the first place?
Because these "banners" are not just about cookies but about data processing and storage. Cookies are just the most obvious and immediate aspect because they're browser-facing and thus consent needs to be obtained early on. But there's nothing special about cookies when it comes to the need to obtain consent (even the ePrivacy directive which singles them out only does so to explain what information needs to be disclosed in order for consent to be possible).
> Instead, we are trusting the very websites we are blaming on tracking us in the most decietful, malicious ways possible to self-regulate and implement these controls.
Yes. Because they break the law if they don't comply or try to trick you to "opt in".
> So there's no consistency.
Yes. Most consent dialogs are breaking the law by being intentionally non-compliant to mislead visitors into opting in. The ePrivacy directive makes it pretty clear what a compliant dialog would look like. For example if you have a big "accept all" CTA you need to have an equally prominent "reject all and proceed" CTA.
> And 90% of the time you can't disable all the cookies anyway, because there's that little grayed out toggle control for "strictly necessary cookies."
If they're strictly necessary, they are required for the site to function. Disabling them would make the site not work.
> How do I know one of those cookies you consider "strictly-necessary" or "crucial for site functionality" doesn't connect back to some evil tracking algorithm, the blocking of which was the whole point of this banner debacle in the first place?
Because that would break the law.
> So we have essentially asked websites to self-regulate the way the US's vitamin/supplement industury does, except its worse because I don't have to click a fucking banner before I take a capsule of what may or may not be vitamin C.
No, we have created a law they have to follow and which they can be fined for violating. We have also established privacy and the right to your personal data as a universal right because everything else in the GDPR and ePrivacy directive follows downhill from that.
They're not self-regulating, they're regulated. This is literally how regulation works: they have to follow the law or they risk a fine. The problem right now is some DPAs dragging their heels, most being underfunded and foreign companies getting special "One Stop Shop" deals where a ridiculously corrupt DPA (hello Ireland) gets to be the single DPA in charge of handling complaints about them.