Only 5.3% of US welders are women. After years as a professor, I became one

> “You’re better looking than the guy I talked to before.” Such harassment remains common for tradeswomen

If people think this is harassment, no wonder people experience a lot of harassment.

Unless there was more to it the correct answer is along the lines of "yes thankfully" and then a laugh.

I'd recommend a good look in the mirror when looking for the problem in such situations.

Same goes for the thing about trying to discreetly notifying that someone has dirty hands:

Yes, I don't know what is up with Americans and demanding everyone has clean hands at all times, but as long as that is a thing this probably is meant as a favor. Maybe clumsily, but still.

More generally the saying: "when you hear hooves, think horses, not zebras" comes to mind:

If you expect things to be meant funny or helpful (and give people some slack) maybe life becomes a lot less stressful than if everything has to be seen through a lens of gender dynamics.

And if one is known as a reasonable person, I guess people will also take your side if you have to be loud and clear about something, e.g. if it turns out someone wasn't just clumsily trying to be nice or funny.

I think this is one of those cases where a strong majority of the population in question can handle the interactions just fine, but the ones who can not are extremely vocal about it. The complainers get their way and company policy is changed for everybody. Many people go "well, it was for the best I guess", but for others it is some whiner ruining the fun for everybody. In extreme cases we have national examples where people's entire careers have ended over a tasteless but largely harmless joke told decades earlier (See: Al Franken) and that kind of threat feels scary.

This has more nuance than just whiners vs normal people.

Using verboten words as an example, I'm often willing to stop using words that others don't like. The harm to me is low (english is a big language, there's plenty of other words left), so if there's any harm at all to another it's reasonable for me to stop using the word. Assessment of harm will vary, as will harm to me from loss of words - which is why I stand my ground on some technical words.

My line is, n* - Not even going to type it pronouns - Whatever floats your boat master->main - Sure. Fine. I guess. Stop coming in my room and messing with my stuff. master/slave->controller/peripheral - Really? I'm going to say no for now, but work on brevity and check back later. MOSI/MISO->??? - NO.

Does drawing the line there make me a bigot? Where's the cutoff?