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254 points Michelangelo11 | 2 comments | | HN request time: 0.433s | source
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skinkestek ◴[] No.42057955[source]
> “You’re better looking than the guy I talked to before.” Such harassment remains common for tradeswomen

If people think this is harassment, no wonder people experience a lot of harassment.

Unless there was more to it the correct answer is along the lines of "yes thankfully" and then a laugh.

I'd recommend a good look in the mirror when looking for the problem in such situations.

Same goes for the thing about trying to discreetly notifying that someone has dirty hands:

Yes, I don't know what is up with Americans and demanding everyone has clean hands at all times, but as long as that is a thing this probably is meant as a favor. Maybe clumsily, but still.

More generally the saying: "when you hear hooves, think horses, not zebras" comes to mind:

If you expect things to be meant funny or helpful (and give people some slack) maybe life becomes a lot less stressful than if everything has to be seen through a lens of gender dynamics.

And if one is known as a reasonable person, I guess people will also take your side if you have to be loud and clear about something, e.g. if it turns out someone wasn't just clumsily trying to be nice or funny.

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blitzar ◴[] No.42058035[source]
I still get flashes of the traumatic day when I was in the kitchen area at work making myself a cup of tea and one of the female employees came in and said "You are a strong and tall man, can you get that heavy box from the top shelf for me".
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kazinator ◴[] No.42058040[source]
I had that happen numerous times in supermarkets.
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blitzar ◴[] No.42058126[source]
The supermarket encounters are most often dirty old women who are still stuck in the past, or have gotten away with it for so long they just don't know any better.
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1. pessimizer ◴[] No.42064195[source]
It's not sexual harassment, it's flattery to get you to do a favor for them. They would never sleep with you. It's also extremely normal and anodyne.

Why do men think sexism is symmetrical? The reason sexual overtures from men are a problem is because they are usually serious and they are statistically threatening, because men often hurt women who don't respond to them in a way they deem appropriate. You would never fear this woman.

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2. fhfjfk ◴[] No.42064506[source]
As a fearful anxious man - Don't presume to know what I fear.

I expect variation in the women I meet, some will be scared of me and some have much bigger balls than I do. If I calibrate my banter such that 1% of women are scared, am I in the wrong?