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254 points Michelangelo11 | 6 comments | | HN request time: 0s | source | bottom
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naming_the_user ◴[] No.42056718[source]
What comes across from the article to me is the class barrier more than the gender one - basically it's a posh person finding out what the "real world" looks like.

Shop talk and banter are fairly universal. Any difference is going to be a target. Thin bloke who doesn't look strong enough? Ginger hair? Tall guy, short guy? Weird tattoo, etc. Definitely the one black guy or the one white guy is going to get shit. But is it malicious? Almost certainly not.

The other thing, which in my experience is relatively common worldwide, is that working class communities are more accepting of male-female dynamics. In academia and in highbrow society the tendency is to basically sanitise every social interaction. When you're in an environment where that isn't happening then you can't suddenly ignore it any more.

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esperent ◴[] No.42057157[source]
> But is it malicious? Almost certainly not.

Honestly, it often will be malicious, or will quickly become malicious if you don't take it graciously. And why should you? It's not acceptable to make fun of people for being skinny, ginger, shy, black, white, female, or any other things that the in group considers non-standard for whatever weird reasons.

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dyauspitr ◴[] No.42057943[source]
It’s strange but it’s a fine line. Being made fun of your physical attributes is pretty par for the course in most male groups and it paradoxically makes the place more comfortable to be in. Women just don’t get how this works. Obviously I’m talking about most places. Sometimes it’s just truly evil bullying because they genuinely hate you.
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1. mplewis ◴[] No.42058237[source]
Women get how this works just fine. If you think it makes the group more comfortable to be in, you’re simply falling for the yoke of patriarchy.
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2. dyauspitr ◴[] No.42058566[source]
Then I suppose I like the patriarchy.
3. raxxorraxor ◴[] No.42058624[source]
That is not true. The goal of banter isn't to belittle others seriously, it is often just used to break the ice or for some fun in between work. It is not about a group bullying another.

Many places that require nice language are far more toxic. Or perhaps any place with strict behavior and language rules is toxic, it often seems to be the case.

The parent said that women don't get it. I disagree, most of them working in such environments get it just like men. There are some exceptions for either gender.

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4. scotty79 ◴[] No.42059684[source]
Close people can joke like that. Joking like that before you become close is rough attempt at manufacturing closeness fast. If it works it works, if it doesn't it gets nasty.
5. Angostura ◴[] No.42063379[source]
The role of banter absolutely can be to belittle people -frequently it’s used as a tool for establishing a pecking order.

There’s nothing better for team cohesion than agreeing on the person you are going to bully

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6. rightbyte ◴[] No.42063835{3}[source]
I am so glad that the betting culture all but dissapeared before I entered the workforce.

Hearing old stories of what people did make it seem like some sort of thug culture. I wonder what share of workplace 'accidents' was due to betting.