> A lot of the blame gets placed on easy to see things like an Electron app
I think this blame is fair. Electron is the most obvious example, but in general desktop software that essentially embeds a full browser instance because it makes development slightly easier is the culprit in almost every case I've experienced.
I use a Windows 10 laptop for work.[1] The app that has the most lag and worst performance impact for as long as I've used the laptop is Microsoft Teams. Historically, chat/conferencing apps would be pretty lightweight, but Teams is an Electron app, so it spawns eight processes, over 200 threads, and consumes about 1GB of memory while idle.
Slack is a similar situation. Six processes, over 100 threads, ~750MB RAM while idle. For a chat app!
Microsoft recently added embedded Edge browser controls into the entire Office 365 suite (basically embraced-and-extended Electron), and sure enough, Office is now super laggy too. For example, accepting changes in a Word doc with change tracking enabled now takes anywhere from 5-20 seconds per change, where it was almost instantaneous before. Eight msedgewebview2.exe processes, ~150 threads, but at least it's only consuming about 250MB of RAM.
Meanwhile, I can run native code, .NET, Java, etc. with reasonable performance as long as the Electron apps aren't also running. I can run multiple Linux VMs simultaneously on this laptop with good response times, or I can run 1-2 Electron apps. It's pretty silly.
[1] Core i5, 16GB RAM, SSD storage. Not top of the line, but typical issue for a business environment.