I have been a Linux single-booter since at least 15 years, and have used a wide variety of DM/WM as my primaries for years. All my biases are in favour of Linux.
I don't think I've ever had the mouse event delay issues that you're talking about, and I don't use focus-follows-mouse. But I still marvel at how quickly light programs open on all versions of Windows. I mean programs like terminal, notepad, various control panel stuff, MS default games, etc. I don't think you will find anything that runs on X that will be as responsive as Windows. I don't know if the Wayland universe is any better.