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Mormons Make Great FBI Recruits

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80 points churchill | 49 comments | | HN request time: 1.452s | source | bottom
1. churchill ◴[] No.35772608[source]
TLDR: 1. Strong foreign language skills from overseas missions. 2. It's easier getting them security clearances since they don't use drugs or alcohol.
replies(6): >>35773289 #>>35773356 #>>35773359 #>>35773366 #>>35773395 #>>35773490 #
2. pelagicAustral ◴[] No.35773289[source]
This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from Burn After Reading. From Osborne Cox when being dismissed from his job as an analyst:

> I have a drinking problem? Fuck you, Peck! You're a Mormon! Next to you, we all have a drinking problem!

3. sidewndr46 ◴[] No.35773356[source]
Lots of people think this means "don't smoke" or something like that.

From the members I have conversed with, they are forbidden from using caffeine.

replies(5): >>35773463 #>>35773478 #>>35773510 #>>35773768 #>>35773777 #
4. tyingq ◴[] No.35773359[source]
Probably something also about similar views about a moral high ground.
5. ttpphd ◴[] No.35773366[source]
3. Mormons are overwhelmingly white and come from a cultural background of conservative patriarchal Christian whiteness which comports with the historical and present culture of the FBI.
replies(3): >>35773378 #>>35773501 #>>35773527 #
6. dragonwriter ◴[] No.35773378[source]
You left out “heirarchical authoritarian”, but, yeah, that.
7. pavon ◴[] No.35773395[source]
I would add that their culture is a good match. They are Lawful Good through and through. Historically their church youth programs were tightly integrated with the Boy Scouts (until a recent split as BSA became more inclusive), and are raised to have a strong sense of duty to their church, country and community.
replies(2): >>35773445 #>>35775117 #
8. lolinder ◴[] No.35773463[source]
Coffee and black/green tea are typically considered to be prohibited (I know active members who drink green tea and still participate fully), but caffeine in general isn't banned. One of the apostles even acknowledged drinking a whole lot of diet coke to help while learning to use a computer[0]:

> It took a great deal of time, repetition, patience; no small amount of hope and faith; lots of reassurance from my wife; and many liters of a diet soda that shall remain nameless.

[0] https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference...

replies(1): >>35773488 #
9. seanw444 ◴[] No.35773478[source]
It depends on the family. My girlfriend wasn't allowed to drink any caffeine when she was a kid. Caffeine was normal in my family though. Coffee is pretty universally frowned upon (I don't get it either). Apparently Mtn Dew > Coffee as it pertains to health. They base their dietary standard on the "Word of Wisdom".

Source: grew up Mormon, and still have a close relationship with my Mormon family.

10. intimidated ◴[] No.35773482{3}[source]
I am extremely not Mormon, but we don't have any reason to believe Mormons are more likely to be sexual abusers than Jews, Muslims, or Hindus.

It's probably more politically safe to claim Mormons are more likely to be sexual abusers, but I wouldn't feel any less safe leaving my children with a Mormon family than with a Jewish family, a Muslim family, or a Hindu family.

replies(2): >>35773576 #>>35774122 #
11. sidewndr46 ◴[] No.35773488{3}[source]
I'm not a member, just going off what they told me. From what I understand the actual edicts (maybe it's called something) else aren't really supposed to be published or talked about. So I've only talked to ex-mormons about this.
replies(4): >>35773574 #>>35773742 #>>35774437 #>>35775100 #
12. jimmar ◴[] No.35773490[source]
3rd mentioned in the was a willingness to serve.

Having grown up Mormon, I'd add a 4th that wasn't mentioned in the article: deference to authority. The Mormon church is a very hierarchal organization. Orders go from the top down. People lower on the ladder should not ever contradict their leaders. When a Mormon leader asks you to do something, you expected to comply. I imagine that this mindset would make you fit in well in the FBI, at least in the lower and middle layers of the organization.

13. dauertewigkeit ◴[] No.35773501[source]
You're using Christian way too much to describe Mormons. I am pretty sure most Christians aren't going to see Mormonism as a plus.
replies(2): >>35774112 #>>35777172 #
14. specialist ◴[] No.35773510[source]
Opinions differ. Best as I can tell, like all other dogmas, their rules are some blend of urban legends, game of telephone, and calvinball.

eg The nephew of the owner, prepping for his missionary work, gravely explained to me that he has to be careful not to immerse himself in open waters (or maybe it was just moving water) past the belt line. Something about being vulnerable to witches or demonic possession or whatever. And it was totally true because his cousin's best friend knew a guy who swam while on mission and then died.

replies(1): >>35774082 #
15. seanw444 ◴[] No.35773527[source]
Which is funny because most Mormons I know dislike the FBI specifically because their actions as of late are directly in opposition to their beliefs.
replies(1): >>35773975 #
16. lolinder ◴[] No.35773574{4}[source]
I am a member, and every actual commandment is definitely public record. Even the temple covenants are (as of recently) public record[0], and those used to be the ones that were held in the highest level of secrecy.

There are a whole lot of people who have their own interpretations of the commandments, and that coupled with our history of secrecy surrounding the temple could definitely give rise to the idea that it's difficult to know what all the requirements are, but it's all online and available to everyone at this point.

Here's the relevant information about the health code[1]:

> The Lord revealed in the Word of Wisdom that the following substances are harmful:

> Alcoholic drinks (see Doctrine and Covenants 89:5–7).

> Tobacco (see Doctrine and Covenants 89:8).

> Tea and coffee (see Doctrine and Covenants 89:9; latter-day prophets have taught that the term “hot drinks,” as written in this verse, refers to tea and coffee).

[0] https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/temples/what-is-temple-e...

[1] https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topi...

replies(1): >>35776196 #
17. gibolt ◴[] No.35773576{4}[source]
Pretty sure you could just say any family...
18. patch_collector ◴[] No.35773742{4}[source]
It's actually quite public. The 'raw' doctrinal backing comes from 'Doctrine and Covenants, Section 89': https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/history/topics/wor...

Clarifications as to what the 'hot drinks' section means has come over time, generally being shared during the twice-annual General Conference. The most prominent call came in 1921.

You can read more about it here: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/revelations...

19. nocoolnametom ◴[] No.35773768[source]
The caffeine thing is a long-standing internal debate that arises from:

1. Unclear doctrinal specifics

2. An orthopraxic rather than an orthodoxic culture

The first item is that the only doctrine possibly relating to caffeine is a single verse in modern scripture that says "hot drinks are not for the body or belly". Long-standing teaching by leadership has merely narrowed down "hot drinks" to mean tea and coffee.

The second item is by far more important in the debate: Mormons are _highly_ orthopraxic, meaning that you're usually free to hold heterodox doctrinal beliefs as long as your public life and behavior reflects the common orthopraxy. Or, to put it simply, the public appearance of righteousness is culturally far more important than internal doctrinal beliefs (this is, ironically enough, not technically doctrinal). The same chapter that defines "hot drinks" (coffee/tea) as not good for the belly defines beer ("barley... for mild drinks") as entirely appropriate, but since the orthopraxic behavior is to be seen as avoiding coffee, tea, hard liquor (which is specifically called out in the same scripture) then avoiding anything above and beyond those is often seen as an increased sign of righteousness.

So you'll often have arguments between Mormons who follow the letter of the law and others who follow what they define as the spirit of the law. And since coffee and tea both contain caffeine then many Mormons will avoid caffeine as well.

You'll find this same argument about following just the doctrine defined in the open canon versus following behavioral practices above and beyond it in other aspects of Mormon life, such as: not calling members of the church or the church "Mormon," payment of 10% of monthly income (though the scriptures call for 10% of an annual "increase"), women only wearing at most one set of earrings, no dating for youth below the age of 16, men applying to serve missions the instant their 18th birthday arrives (though the window for honorable service is many years wide), no clapping in meetings, no drums or brass in meetings, and so on for many other cultural practices.

This is, as you can probably recognize from some of the items in that list, in no way a phenomenon isolated to the LDS religion, but it does inform the inevitable debate you'll hear if you ever bring up caffeine in a group of Mormons.

replies(1): >>35774313 #
20. irrational ◴[] No.35773777[source]
It's not caffeine. It's coffee, black/green tea, and alcohol. Soda has caffeine and is seen as okay.

Think of it as Jewish Kosher or Muslim Halal.

21. KRAKRISMOTT ◴[] No.35773975{3}[source]
What did the FBI do?
replies(1): >>35775014 #
22. nocoolnametom ◴[] No.35774082{3}[source]
I'm guessing you've gotten some downvotes for this probably because this is recognized as a pretty bizarre belief, and one most modern Mormons do not follow or aren't even aware of. Since Mormonism almost never repudiates the teachings of their past leadership, it merely stops reinforcing old and odd teachings, you'll always be able to find at least a few members who still know about and hold beliefs that the rest of the membership has either forgotten or have never been taught.

The particular belief in question here arises from modern LDS scripture (D&C 61) where God says to a group of early LDS missionaries that "there are many dangers upon the waters." These dangers are from Satan being given power over the waters as the world approaches Armageddon, and while faithful LDS missionaries will be preserved while traveling over any water (canal, lake, sea, etc) they're encouraged not to risk it if their faith is not strong enough.

This used to be a pretty common teaching from leadership, but in recent decades it's fallen out of fashion. Missionaries are still forbidden from going swimming at any point during their missions, but usually it's presented as a result of insurance dangers facing unsupervised 18 year olds (which, let's be honest, is an entirely reasonable and accurate concern).

For almost every weird or odd belief you've heard that at least some Mormons believe, there are usually a combination of scriptures and old leadership quotes behind it, but the modern teachings have left them behind with the hope that if these odd teachings are ignored they'll go away (which works out pretty well, for the most part).

replies(1): >>35775195 #
23. haradion ◴[] No.35774112{3}[source]
By mainstream Christian standards, the doctrine is, quite frankly, "heretical", but members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the primary branch of "Mormonism") very much consider themselves Christian, have values that align strongly with many other Christian denominations, place Christ at the center of their doctrine, etc. In my opinion, culturally, we're a lot more Christian than the typical perception would suggest.

That being said, we've got our own offshoot groups that we don't consider "really Mormon", so I get where people are coming from on that question.

24. ◴[] No.35774122{4}[source]
25. freedomben ◴[] No.35774313{3}[source]
For others gaining a new vocabulary word today:

> Orthopraxic v. orthodoxic: In the study of religion, orthopraxy is correct conduct, both ethical and liturgical, as opposed to faith or grace.[1][2][3] Orthopraxy is in contrast with orthodoxy, which emphasizes correct belief. The word is a neoclassical compound—ὀρθοπραξία (orthopraxia) meaning 'right practice'. [1]

[1]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orthopraxy

26. freedomben ◴[] No.35774437{4}[source]
I'm a former Mormon (I guess you could call me an "ex-mormon"). Just some advice: be careful about getting (or propagating rather) information from ex-mormons regarding Mormonism (or rather, verify it first). There's an incredible mix of ignorance and/or antipathy that leads to extremely unreliable information. Of course there are plenty of exceptions, but it's a massively deep philosophy/corpus that not many (even active members) put in the effort to actually know it, and for some reason some people become LLMs when asked questions about it, answering very confidently with whatever sounds the most correct to them without regard to actual truth value.
replies(2): >>35774761 #>>35774875 #
27. nocoolnametom ◴[] No.35774761{5}[source]
That "massively deep philosophy/corpus" doesn't help things, though. With nearly 200 years of a leadership that teaches that whatever is spoken by God's servants (the highest church leadership) is to be equated as similar to the word of God (with a normal human distribution of those leaders who approach this view with a cautious humility through those who speak their musings with confidence) there's a HUGE of collection of some pretty odd beliefs. Since the church leadership almost never repudiates these past statements, preferring to have them quietly fade from the collective memory and consciousness of the membership over time, chances are that there's still some few members who are aware of these weird beliefs and can back them up with some sort of statement by a modern LDS prophet or apostle. This makes any "actual truth value" of an odd teaching or belief really difficult to gauge, and chances are there's some actual statement behind many of that unreliable information.

That's speaking of teachings and doctrine, of course. When it comes to history that's less like trying to nail Jell-o to the wall and it's much easier to find sources for more accurate history, and I agree that it's a bit sad how little accuracy in history seems to be respected by some believing and formerly-believing members.

replies(1): >>35774949 #
28. ttpphd ◴[] No.35774875{5}[source]
This is the Mormon immune response to exposure to information that causes cognitive dissonance: slander the people who left the church because the fact that they left the church means they are ignorant.
replies(3): >>35775059 #>>35776660 #>>35776865 #
29. freedomben ◴[] No.35774949{6}[source]
Actually I completely agree with you. There are indeed plenty of things where it's murky and hard to piece together the truth (particularly since Joseph and the early church were so secretive about some teachings like polygamy).

The type of thing I had in mind are things that aren't ambiguous but rather are pretty clear. Things like "the actual edicts ... aren't really supposed to be published or talked about" regarding caffeine/word of wisdom. I certainly don't claim to know everything, but I have spent an insane amount of time reading/researching Mormon history and I've never heard that before. Stuff like that seems to pop up constantly for some reason when I talk about things with ex-mormons.

30. WarOnPrivacy ◴[] No.35775014{4}[source]
The FBI goes after folks like Cliven Bundy. Support for separatism is higher is rural regions, including where LDS are. The LDS Church speaks against nationalism specifically but - like everywhere - folks hear what they want to hear.
replies(1): >>35778463 #
31. freedomben ◴[] No.35775059{6}[source]
lol, why would I slander myself? If avoiding cognitive dissonance is my goal, it would be far easier to just accept uncritically any dumb thing against the church than to have to defend the truth.

This is the type of black and white response that I find so common with ex-mormons. If somebody pushes back on disinformation (even easily disproved like the above thing about keeping caffeine teachings secret), the superstitious thinking kicks in and excuses fly (like "they must be a secret apologist" which I heard recently). It's every bit as ridiculous as the believers are when they dismiss inconvenient facts like Zelph the White Lamanite[1][2] because it goes against their preferred narrative. It's superstitious thinking.

Edit: Hah! I couldn't have asked for a better real-time example to demonstrate my point: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35774479

[1]: http://www.mormonthink.com/zelph.htm

[2]: https://mormonr.org/qnas/3yUz5/zelph_the_lamanite

replies(2): >>35775178 #>>35777892 #
32. bart_spoon ◴[] No.35775100{4}[source]
It's not that they aren't supposed to be published or talked about, its that the caffeine thing was never an "edict" in the first place. The edict was no coffee or tea, and culturally that became "no caffeine" because that was a common link between the two. It became a common enough belief among lay-members over the case of many decades that the church in recent years put out a statement clarifying that caffeine is not in fact prohibited or addressed in any way by church doctrine.
33. WarOnPrivacy ◴[] No.35775117[source]
> Historically their church youth programs were tightly integrated with the Boy Scouts

In western states, yes. In the east it ran from supportive to apathetic to passive-aggressively hostile. In some councils, the split wasn't all bad for the BSA.

replies(1): >>35776266 #
34. ttpphd ◴[] No.35775178{7}[source]
Point out the lie when you see a lie, but this sort of blanket statement is inappropriate and reflects your own biases.
35. mrkstu ◴[] No.35775195{4}[source]
This is mostly an issue of the hierarchal/revelatory nature of the church.

If every folk belief held by any Pope or Church Father was held as a controlling 'belief' of the Catholic Church, it'd spin apart instantly via the contradictions.

The 'Mormon' church has to deal with the contradiction of near-infallibility of its leaders with their very human frailties and willingness to opine on things without much knowledge.

Considering their need to weld together tens of thousands of converts under murder, oppression, and official government endorsement of their extermination, it was understandable they needed to centralize a belief in their leadership in order to survive. Climbing down from that philosophy has been understandably fraught and drawn out.

36. csdvrx ◴[] No.35776196{5}[source]
I've checked the website and it's easy to get lost clicking around like on tvtropes.org

> I am a member, and every actual commandment is definitely public record. Even the temple covenants are (as of recently) public record[0], and those used to be the ones that were held in the highest level of secrecy.

Great! So here's a very legit question: is there a PDF version that I could read linearly to get a good idea of the whole doctrine? (I mean something like the Talmud)

I'm just curious and want to learn.

replies(2): >>35776809 #>>35779374 #
37. jstarfish ◴[] No.35776266{3}[source]
Other denominations are now starting to follow suit and declining to renew charters or lease space to the BSA.
38. tomcam ◴[] No.35776660{6}[source]
Where did freedomben slander (I think you meant libel, since it was written) anyone?
39. lolinder ◴[] No.35776809{6}[source]
It's obviously very difficult to compress any religion's doctrines down into an easily digestible form, but the pamphlets used by the missionaries do a pretty good job of summarizing the most important points [0].

Beyond that, the Gospel Topics[1] section is, as you found, a bit of a rabbit hole, but contains the church's official stance on any topic where they've taken a stance. If you can't find it there, it's likely that there isn't an official consensus.

[0] https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/handbooks-and-call...

[1] https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topi...

40. lolinder ◴[] No.35776865{6}[source]
>> I'm a former Mormon (I guess you could call me an "ex-mormon").

> This is the Mormon immune response

OP literally said they don't identify as a Mormon any more, so your response feels like a knee-jerk reaction against something you've seen elsewhere, rather than an actual response to their comment. They're speaking from the outside looking at others on the outside, not trying to justify their own current beliefs.

replies(1): >>35778447 #
41. mrguyorama ◴[] No.35777172{3}[source]
They shouldn't be considered christians, but in the voting booth, they vote for the same thing that evangelicals do.
42. darksaints ◴[] No.35777892{7}[source]
Citing two prominent Mormon apologist foundations certainly doesn’t help your point that you’re not acting as closeted Mormon apologist. And when you use a misunderstanding of a non-Mormon about secrecy and caffeine as an example of ex-Mormon lies, you are certainly showing your bias towards those who leave the church.

The exmormon community is extremely thorough and factual when it comes to talking about the church, because it is to their benefit. More people have left the church after unsuccessfully trying to refute The CES Letter than have ever left due to smear campaigns and slander. The truth is to the rational thinker’s benefit, which is why the church spends so much time and money hiding it and whitewashing it.

replies(2): >>35779096 #>>35779751 #
43. ttpphd ◴[] No.35778447{7}[source]
They are justifying their current beliefs about exmormons.
44. ttpphd ◴[] No.35778463{5}[source]
"goes after" is a funny way to say "enforces federal law"
replies(1): >>35787510 #
45. nocoolnametom ◴[] No.35779096{8}[source]
> Citing two prominent Mormon apologist foundations

Um, I think you're confusing MormonThink and MormonR for "FAIR" or the "BoM Foundation". They're two "middle-way" sources that try to balance the knife's edge of giving just enough of the negative-yet-factual information that faith is still possible, as opposed to something like the CES Letter which is a compendium of pretty much every negative-yet-factual piece of information that, in total, make faith in the organization pretty much impossible for the average member who reads it. But they're definitely not apologetic sites, they're just more of a "shallow water" approach than a "throw you in the deep end of the pool" approach.

replies(1): >>35779736 #
46. nocoolnametom ◴[] No.35779374{6}[source]
It's not just a funny joke that attempting to define LDS doctrine is akin to trying to nail Jell-O to the wall. For almost every doctrinal position there are either other doctrinal positions or historical events that go against it (or sometimes both). Even on something as traditionally Christian as the Atonement of Jesus Christ and grace vs. works, the LDS doctrine and previous LDS leadership authorities can be read to support penal substitution theory or satisfaction theory, and you'll find plenty supporting both the supremacy of grace AND the supremacy of works.

Honestly, the best approximation of LDS doctrine is probably not found in any form of text but is best found through the practices of the majority of the active membership. Oh, and the Wikipedia pages are also probably a good place to start, since they can be changed to keep things current with changing emphasis and practice.

Of course, that's not to say that you can't find attempts by LDS individuals and academics to create what you're asking for, it's just that as time moves on each attempt has fallen out of favor as the culture of the organization shifts away on certain items:

1: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mormon_Doctrine_(book)

2: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Encyclopedia_of_Mormonism

3: https://deseretbook.com/p/lds-beliefs-doctrinal-reference-ro...

4: https://gregkofford.com/products/this-is-my-doctrine

47. freedomben ◴[] No.35779736{9}[source]
Exactly, thank you. Most members consider MormonThink to be anti-Mormon, and IMHO they do tilt that way but they try to be balanced. MormonThink is definitely not a bunch of Mormon apologists. Go look at the actual apologist sites like FAIR and see how many "refutations of MormonThink" they have. Hint: it's a lot.

Mormonr is IMHO very fair, just on the other side fence. They're a faithful group, but they are committed to truth and scholarship and they're willing to say, "yeah that embarrassing thing does seem to be true" when it seems to be true.

48. freedomben ◴[] No.35779751{8}[source]
> Citing two prominent Mormon apologist foundations certainly doesn’t help your point that you’re not acting as closeted Mormon apologist.

For someone so committed to "truth", "rational thinking," and being "extremely thorough and factual" you've sure gotten a lot wrong in just this message. Mormonthink is far from a prominent apologist foundation. Most Mormons consider them anti. You should probably look at the site before jumping to such a confirmation-bias driven conclusion.

49. KRAKRISMOTT ◴[] No.35787510{6}[source]
Selective enforcement depending on the political willpower du jour.
replies(1): >>35788530 #