> I don’t want any websites sending me any notifications ever.
I agree with you actually, but not everybody does. Some people do want push notifications when they get a new email or Facebook update. I wish it weren't so, but it is.
> I don’t want any websites triggering the browser to ask me if they can send me notifications.
> I don’t want any websites asking me if they can ask the browser to ask me to send me notifications.
> I don’t want any websites using their classic scams like tiny “x” buttons...
Given that we live in a world where there are notifications, you have the choice to disable them on your device, or decline them on a site by site basis. For your grandma, I'd suggest the former strategy.
But if you don't want the site to ask you, and you don't want the browser to ask you, and you don't want to disable them for all sites, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. All the whining isn't going to bring back 90s internet.
> It seems to me like you believe everyone is the same as you: they value small package size, they personally audit all code they run, they want random corporations to have an easier time getting a presence on their home screen, and they’d be able to easily identify and stop all corporate badgering they do end up receiving
What's the difference between a native app asking to send you notifications vs a web app?