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For black CEOs in Silicon Valley, humiliation is a part of doing business

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677 points saeedjabbar | 8 comments | 16 Jun 20 15:19 UTC | HN request time: 0.888s | source | bottom
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ibudiallo ◴[16 Jun 20 22:05 UTC] No.23544856[source]▶
I usually choose to believe in "the honest mistake". It happens, two people walk in, one of them is the CEO, you assume it is the one on the right. And then when you realize it is a mistake, you apologize. We are only human.

But when it happens over and over and over, you can't help but feel frustrated. You realize that people natural instinct is to think you are the subordinate. One second your are on stage at Techcrunch (I was in 2017), where you have clearly introduced yourself. You get off-stage, they greet your colleague and ask him the questions as if he was on stage.

I was often in the interview room waiting for my interviewer, only to have him show up, and tell me I must be in the wrong room. A simple "Hey are you XYZ?" could have avoided this frustration.

I've written an article about my experience working as a black developer, I'll post it here in the near future. You wouldn't believe how lonely it is. In my team of 150 people, we were two black people.

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js2 ◴[16 Jun 20 22:52 UTC] No.23545309[source]▶
I am Jewish. This gives me no insight into what it is to be black in America. But it does give me some insight into what it is to be a minority in America. I have an inkling of your loneliness and you have my profound sympathy. I wish everyone could experience what it is to be a minority in some, any, aspect of their identity to the extent that it might provide them some empathy for others.

(I also never realized what it must feel like to be a Christian in America until I visited Israel for the first time and had a sense of being among "my people", which didn't really make any sense because I'm not Israeli, but at the same time it felt comforting being among so many Jews in a greater way than when I'm at temple.)

Of course, unless I announce I am Jewish, I know I'm not being judged by it. I can only imagine how difficult it is that whenever you are slighted, you don't know for certain whether it is due to being black. It must be very hard not to start assuming that it's always the reason.

I'll watch for your future post. I look forward to reading it.

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gfxgirl ◴[17 Jun 20 01:27 UTC] No.23546636[source]▶
Where do you live? I have no idea what it's like to be Jewish but I have Jewish friends and have had Jewish bosses. I couldn't tell them apart from any other white people in the area. If they hadn't told me they were Jewish I'd never have known nor cared. I certainly didn't treat them different.

At what point are we all just different? I can't meet people that are into my particular hobby. I also go to clubs and bars from time to time and never feel like "these are my people". Even going to game dev events (since I do game dev) a rarely feel like "these are my people".

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1. jsharf ◴[17 Jun 20 06:47 UTC] No.23548511[source]▶
Christmas feels weird to me -- It feels vaguely exclusive.
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2. seppin ◴[17 Jun 20 07:35 UTC] No.23548826[source]▶
I mean no offense by this, but the jewish experience in America doesn't compare to the black experience. In 99% of cases you are just another white person.
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3. toyg ◴[17 Jun 20 09:19 UTC] No.23549431[source]▶
It has to be said that, by all accounts, this didn't use to be the case until about WWII. But yeah, like all "white" minorities, Jews were eventually freed of the stigma. Obviously that's not the case for others.
4. enriquto ◴[17 Jun 20 10:26 UTC] No.23549819[source]▶
What do you mean by "black experience"? I'm not used to American culture and I have heard this expression several times. Is it only a skin-color thing or does "black" mean a different culture/tradition? I mean, if a black baby is raised by white parents on a 100% white neighborhood, will he live the black experience? Conversely, if a white baby is raised by black parents on a 100% black neighborhood, will he live the black experience? I honestly do not understand some of the anti-racist discourse (which I generally agree with), because sometimes people speak as if "black" was a distinct culture, not a race (and thus, independent from the racial issue, allowing for people of any skin color to be part or not of this culture).
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5. spoopyskelly ◴[17 Jun 20 11:15 UTC] No.23550094[source]▶
Christmas is really for everyone, it is about Santa Claus bringing gifts and Coca Cola polar bears. No need to feel excluded.
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6. humanrebar ◴[17 Jun 20 11:33 UTC] No.23550190[source]▶
Well, it's about the Messiah being born, be it was culturally appropriated (ceded?).

Despite what social media and talk radio says, most Christians are fine others enjoying a non-Christian Christmas as long as it's being used in an uplifting way. Definitely no need to feel excluded.

7. seppin ◴[18 Jun 20 22:29 UTC] No.23568855{3}[source]▶
Yes my friend who is black who lives in a big house in a rich area gets pulled over by the police at least once a month and harassed.

Her upbringing and class doesn't matter.

This is common: https://www.cnn.com/2015/04/02/us/chris-rock-pulled-over-pol...

8. js2 ◴[21 Jun 20 01:14 UTC] No.23588855[source]▶
I'm certainly not trying to compare the two at all. But I can think about times I've been treated as an "other" or not catered to because I'm not the majority and draw empathy from that.