←back to thread

1298 points jgrahamc | 1 comments | | HN request time: 0s | source
Show context
rubicon33 ◴[] No.22882787[source]
Terrifying.

As a software engineer, shit like this scares me. I've felt like I'm on a steady, slow, decline for the last ~4 years.

Is it just burnout? Do I need a new hobby?

I used to love programming... Spent 12 hours a day jamming on it. Now, I struggle to keep my mind on a line of code for more than 5 minutes.

At what point is it just burnout, or at what point is it something more? That's what's terrifying to me. I imagine that was a challenge for those close to Lee.

We just know so little about the human body. Our ability to easily query the state of the body, to assess which functional components are working, and which need help, is dismal.

I just hope that Lee, in whatever state he is in, isn't suffering.

replies(12): >>22883074 #>>22883202 #>>22883310 #>>22883365 #>>22883456 #>>22883655 #>>22884164 #>>22885622 #>>22886005 #>>22886691 #>>22898656 #>>22903640 #
dimxasnewfrozen ◴[] No.22883655[source]
After reading this I had to do a quick self-assessment.

For the last few years or so (I'm 33, also a software engineer) I've noticed a pretty big decline in my mental state. I can't focus. I immediately forget what I just looked at, read or did. I completely zone out when people talk to me. I am just not present in any situation. What is strange is that I can actually notice it, not in real-time however. It's been worrying me for the last few months so much so that I started meditating which I've never done before. My wife mentioned seeing a therapist because she thought maybe I was depressed so I scheduled an appointment but it's been rescheduled due to the virus.

I keep hearing about other programmers experiencing similar issues (yourself included) and I wonder if the nature of what we do somehow damages our brain in some capacity and we just don't know it yet. Obviously Lee's case is different but it's certainly scary. I hope he doesn't suffer as well.

replies(8): >>22884445 #>>22884867 #>>22885076 #>>22885406 #>>22886175 #>>22886244 #>>22891038 #>>22898692 #
rubicon33 ◴[] No.22886175[source]
I'm 33 also.

I'm starting to form a theory that it could be dopamine depletion. [1]

[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2791340/

replies(3): >>22886545 #>>22887046 #>>22891207 #
cheeko1234 ◴[] No.22891207[source]
Can you elaborate on the theory?

I tried reading the article but can't make too much sense of it.

replies(1): >>22892087 #
rubicon33 ◴[] No.22892087[source]
They studied motivation & effort in rats, essentially asking the question:

"What makes you work hard for a big (but delayed) reward, when you could just take the easy (but smaller) reward?"

I think of my current state as, always seeking the easy reward. I utterly lack the motivation, energy, and focus, to pursue prolonged difficult tasks (like good programming takes).

When you think about it, we (humans) face this question every day. Why do you get up, and work on hard problems, when you could just sit and watch YouTube? There's got to be something motivating you to sit down, and do the work.

What they found in the study is that if they blocked D1 and D2 receptors, the rats stopped working for the big reward. They would just sit there, and take the small reward. Or, they'd do nothing at all. They became lazy, unmotivated, blobs.

If they supplemented with D-Amphetamine they were able to reverse the effect. Thereby demonstrating, that it's actually the failure to activate D1 and D2 receptors that causes rats to give up on hard work. DOPAMINE is responsible for activating these receptors, and it's these receptors that give you the "OOMF" to get up, and get shit done.

Historically dopamine is seen as the "reward" but that's not really the case. Dopamine is the fuel. It's the catalyst. It's the "mental energy" that gets you off your ass.

So my theory is that, in myself, something is either blocking D1 and D2 receptors... or I've "used up" my dopamine reserves in the brain my continually slamming them with YouTube, gaming, and general computer use. My brain now looks for this high everywhere. Reading a book stands no chance, as it doesn't release anywhere near the dopamine of clicking through YouTube or playing video games.

My baseline is fucked, essentially. So, I am going to begin the hard work of reseting this baseline... No YouTube, no Games. Will report back in a few months.

replies(2): >>22892482 #>>22892545 #
1. lma22 ◴[] No.22892545[source]
Sometimes the internet is so small. I’ve had a bad time lately with my attention span, some depression, etc. I looked around and found the same theory. This has legs since I game a lot, sit at a pc a lot, and browse the web constantly.

In an effort (prayer) to help fix it, I am selling my iPhone 11 Pro for a SE. I am selling my PC and iPad for a small laptop. I am also purchase 2-3 books that look interesting and plan to try reading those.

My goal is to slow down my brains access to dopamine for a time and see where that leaves me.

Just a theory!