What Happened to Lee

Terrifying.

As a software engineer, shit like this scares me. I've felt like I'm on a steady, slow, decline for the last ~4 years.

Is it just burnout? Do I need a new hobby?

I used to love programming... Spent 12 hours a day jamming on it. Now, I struggle to keep my mind on a line of code for more than 5 minutes.

At what point is it just burnout, or at what point is it something more? That's what's terrifying to me. I imagine that was a challenge for those close to Lee.

We just know so little about the human body. Our ability to easily query the state of the body, to assess which functional components are working, and which need help, is dismal.

I just hope that Lee, in whatever state he is in, isn't suffering.

After reading this I had to do a quick self-assessment.

For the last few years or so (I'm 33, also a software engineer) I've noticed a pretty big decline in my mental state. I can't focus. I immediately forget what I just looked at, read or did. I completely zone out when people talk to me. I am just not present in any situation. What is strange is that I can actually notice it, not in real-time however. It's been worrying me for the last few months so much so that I started meditating which I've never done before. My wife mentioned seeing a therapist because she thought maybe I was depressed so I scheduled an appointment but it's been rescheduled due to the virus.

I keep hearing about other programmers experiencing similar issues (yourself included) and I wonder if the nature of what we do somehow damages our brain in some capacity and we just don't know it yet. Obviously Lee's case is different but it's certainly scary. I hope he doesn't suffer as well.

I don’t have the same issue with focus, etc. but I’m a couple years into my software career and have noticed a drastic shift in my cognitive abilities. Not negative per say, but it’s clear that being focused and working on a logic puzzle all day is changing how my brain is wired. You can imagine that our brain, after years of programming, starts to find shortcuts and such to make the tasks easier, but I find it’s coming at the expense of my ability to clearly communicate ideas and thoughts to others. I don’t like it, and I’m very curious if other people experience this.