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89 points PostBurnout | 1 comments | | HN request time: 0.213s | source

I was in denial about burnout for a long time, thinking that it was something that I just have to push myself through, and everything would be okay when it's over. But I recently read the description from jacquesm (http://jacquesmattheij.com/Are+you+suffering+from+burn-out) and it hit me hard. I'm in a state of shock over how much control I've ceded to this madness. Now the work is winding down, many co-workers have left for greener pastures, and my productivity is asymptotically approaching zero.

I've just asked my boss for a 1-year sabbatical, but I haven't chosen a start date for it, and I'm already suffering from analysis paralysis over what to do. I'm not ready for a new job or project -- I'm in no shape to work. I could travel, but my problems will just follow me around the world. I could volunteer, but I'm so emotionally empty that there's no heart for me to pour anywhere. I could do anything... and yet I'm somehow mentally and physically exhausted from doing little more than clock-watching and perfunctory bullshit (I wasn't this way before and can't believe that I've descended to this).

I don't have any goals or plans (or if I ever did, I've long since forgotten them). The perfect opportunity could be staring me in the face and I wouldn't notice it, or I'd talk myself out of it for fear of screwing it up.

Meanwhile, I've been self-medicating with classical music, long walks along the beach, science fiction novels, Internet addiction, and LOTS of sleep (9+ hours/day). It numbs the pain a bit, but otherwise doesn't seem to be helping.

Even more disturbing is that lately I've noticed myself engaging in perverse escape fantasies about what I might do (and then I'd catch myself and have a Who are you kidding?! moment):

- I'd ride my bike across the continent from Vancouver to Halifax (I don't own a bicycle and haven't ridden one in years)

- I'd travel to Antarctica and cuddle with penguins (I'm complaining about the unbearable winter cold in Southern California)

- I'd join a grassroots protest movement and bring down oppressive regimes (I'm too scared even to donate to Wikileaks)

- I'd dedicate myself to volunteer work in the places of the world most in need of help (I don't even pick up the litter I see on the street, and my lifetime charitable contributions total to less than US $1000)

- I'd earn a PhD, publish papers in prestigious journals, and achieve a research breakthrough (I flunked a couple of classes during college and probably survived my M.S. due to grade inflation)

- I'd found a startup, make products and services that people love, build überscale infrastructure using ultracool tech, and cash out for a fortune (I can't even refactor this putrid pile of Java in front of me)

- I'd become a virtuoso musician, competitive athlete, bestselling author, award-winning chef, whatever (I've spent the last 10 years working to become a better programmer and I still suck)

- I'd disappear into some misty mountain in a remote part of the world and live out my days as an ascetic hermit (I'm here on HN begging for advice like a whiny, attention-seeking brat)

And so I stop. These aren't real goals; I recognize them as daydreaming. I'm already defeated before I've even begun.

What I think I need is some time to do some serious soul-searching, and I doubt that a mere change of employment or environment is sufficient, since true change has to come from within. But anything more specific than that and I'm lost.

What I fear is that I might just be fundamentally lazy, and my lack of a plan will doom me to failure, whereupon I'll spend the rest of my life as damaged goods, unmotivated, unproductive, unemployable, unwanted and useless.

I'm not looking for sympathy. I just hope someone can kick some sense into me, help me see the light, and make best use of my time to recover.

1. paydro ◴[] No.2213730[source]
I would highly recommend traveling without a planned timeline. I was in a similar state you were last August. I quit my job and booked a ticket to fly to Madrid, Spain. I didn't have a place to stay until the day before I flew out. This was how it went for every city I visited afterwards. I didn't book any travel or accommodations until the day or two before. It was awesome to take off or stay when I felt like it. It felt like I was in control of my life.

I spent the next two months traveling through Spain, Italy, France, UK, and Ireland. I met some of the most amazing people in my life and I still keep in touch with them. I went running with a bull in Valencia, scuba diving for the first time in my life in Nice, had the most amazing pizza in the world in Naples, and got my geek on with Roman history.

At the same time, this cured my burn out. I didn't think it would, but when you start using other parts of your brain to communicate and live with people who don't speak your tongue your mind opens up.

I also wrote about every city I visited on my blog as a travel log of sorts and as a way to show my friends what I was up to. I started in Boston which you can read here: http://paydrotalks.com/posts/103-boston-clam-chowder-pigs-an....

I wish you the best of luck. Being burnt out is a horrible state to be in, but it's awesome that you're taking yourself out of work to treat yourself.