EDIT: also, I'm mentioning "in your opinion" because adding that to your own statements indicates that you're open to discussion. It's also good to use it as a reminder to yourself (speaking as a former physics student, and most people who know physics students will agree how "absolute" and unintentionally arrogant they tend to be in their claims until they learn otherwise).
I'm sure your coding experience was frustrating, and I'm sorry to hear that, and I understand that we all need to vent sometimes, but trying to staying open to other viewpoints is better for your own sanity, wisdom, and social connections in the long run.
You could do this, although it's admittedly uglier than your example:
In [1]: sorted(enumerate([('b', 1), ('c', 3), ('a', 2)]), key=lambda x: (x[1][0], x[0], x[1][1]))
Out[1]: [(2, ('a', 2)), (0, ('b', 1)), (1, ('c', 3))]
However, if you're flexible about the ordering of the resulting tuples, this seems clearer and reasonably painless: In [1]: sorted((x, i) for i, x in enumerate([('b', 1), ('c', 3), ('a', 2)]))
Out[1]: [(('a', 2), 2), (('b', 1), 0), (('c', 3), 1)]
I know that doesn't address your underlying complaint. This is mainly to note that the flexibility of Python tends allow a variety of approaches and that sometimes finding the clearest one takes some effort. ("There should be one obvious way to do it..." often does not hold, IMHO.)