Let AI do the hard parts of your holiday shopping

Giving for your own pleasure and getting mad when you don't get the reaction you wanted... one of the most narcissistic behaviors is frequently accusing others of it.

Putting yourself above others is what makes your actions ego centrical. When somebody does something nice for you, that's a very beautiful gesture, even if you didn't particularly fancy that thing. Part of being mature is learning these things. That's why we are happy and grateful when a friend invites us for dinner. Not saying: "Hey! Don't cook anything I don't like! And anyway, I prefer eating take-out, so don't invite me!".

It's not about the physical gift, it's not about the food or about the drink. It's about the human connection, and that is a very fragile thing. People forget these things in these hyper-materialistic and yes ego centrical times we live in.

Gifts which you didn't want are easy to get rid off, just give them to somebody else.

Just tone it down. Nobody deserves the joy of giving you a gift if they don't want stuff, being so mad about it is selfish and lacking empathy. "Maturity", since you bring it up, is respecting somebody's preferences and not diagnosing them of a personality disorder because they don't want to participate in something the same way you do.

When somebody says they don't want gifts, the correct response is not "you're a narcissist".

Yes, everybody deserves the joy of giving gifts, and it doesn't matter if the receiver wants it or not. They should be happy that somebody thought of them and wanted to show their appreciation. The gift itself doesn't matter very much. Nobody should take for granted that anybody wants to give them any gifts at all, so let's appreciate it when it happens. God knows that there are many people in this world who never receive gifts or any gesture of kindness, and would be overjoyed if it happened to them.

Secondly, gifts were never ment to have utility value for the receiver. At most, when we are children we can expect that our parents may figure out what objects we desire. After that, gifts can never be expected to be what the recipient wanted. And that's why I mentioned maturity. How in the world are people who don't live with you in your house supposed to know what you want or need? That's why we as adults need to understand that it is all about the gesture, and not at all about whether the gift is useful or desired by the recipient. So put it in a drawer, give it to somebody else, or throw it away if you must.

Just like being invited to dinner isn't about stilling your hunger.

Yup, that's the narcissist behavior.

You think you deserve to be able to treat people the way you want, and if they don't let you they're wrong, and possibly diagnosable.

>Just like being invited to dinner isn't about stilling your hunger.

You clearly also think that someone declining a dinner invitation is wrong. I'm guessing you've experienced people declining and don't understand why, I can guess.

This is borderline abusive treatment of others.

You need therapy, engaging with narcissists online is never worth it so I'm not going to reply any further.

Declining a dinner invitation is not wrong. But depending on the situation, you might not get invited again. Accepting a dinner invitation with the idea that the purpose is to still your hunger is misunderstanding what is happening. So is expecting a gift to be something which has to be useful to you. But declining a gift is a brazen insult to the giver, while declining a dinner invitation isn't.

Even as children, we're taught to say "thank you" and be grateful when we receive presents, no matter if we like them or not. So when adults are complaining here about getting gifts they don't like, then I will say that there is some maturing to do.

Even in our modern materialistic and ego centric world.