In my experience simple bugfixes are nearly always accepted without fuss (in active projects, that is. Some project in maintenance mode where the last commit was 3 months ago is a different story, because then probably just no-one can be arsed to look at the patch).
Some simple setting expose like you describe can sometimes go in without a fuss or it can stall, that depends on a lot of factors. Like the other reply states: it could go against future plans. Or it could be difficult for the maintainer to see the ramifications of a simple looking change. It sucks that it is that way (I have sent in a few patches for obscure CUPS bugs which have stayed in limbo, so I know the feeling ;-) ) but it is hardly surprising. From a project's point of view drive-by patches very often cost more than they add so to get something included you often need to do a very thorough writeup as for why something is a good idea.
> I just as increasingly want to have no part in them most of the time.
If all people you meet are assholes.... ;-P Not to say you are an asshole, or at least not more than most people, but I have been in this situation myself more than once, and it really pays to stay (overly) polite and not let your annoyance about being brushed off slip through the mask. The text-only nature of these kind of communications are very sensitive to misinterpretations and annoyances.
It would be nice if all you'd need for a patch to be included somewhere was for it to be useful. But alas there's a certain amount of social engineering needed as well. And imho this has always been the case. If you feel it gets increasingly hostile that's probably your own developer burnout speaking (by do I know that one :-P )