This is a dirty implementation with a little bit of effort on the setup side but it performs well for this specific use case and it certainly settled the argument.
It not only provides an answer to your question but also cites the sections that led to its answer. Feel free to let me know any feedback you have. My day job is more enterprisey and I don't get much practice in the weeds like with this notebook anymore so there may be a ton of little oversights I missed.
Tear it apart! thanks!