There are real issues and unknowns here, you are right - but you also have to maintain perspective and scale.
The rare minerals and metals we are using to drive the transition are not being combusted into the atmosphere like gasoline additives are: when EV batteries wear out the lithium is right there ready to be recycled; it’s not a consumable.
Yes, EVs are heavier, yes their tires give off more particulates as a result, yea that is a problem. But EVs overall give off way, way, way fewer particulate emissions overall by replacing brake pad use with regenerative braking and by not combusting carbohydrates and pumping the residue out their tailpipes.
The things you list are not mutually exclusive: Reducing car use, replacing ICEs with EVs, replacing fossil fuels with electro fuels etc is an “all of the above” choice